The Positive Impact of Discomfort
Hello and welcome to episode 286 of The Mindful Kind podcast.
I really hope you’re well and having a good day so far. I’m feeling great because this episode is a little bit special! I hope it will transform the way you feel about discomfort and inspire you to try some meaningful new things.
In the previous episode of The Mindful Kind, I talked about positive, enjoyable activities and how they can boost happiness. And yes, those activities can be super important.
However, it turns out that uncomfortable activities can have a positive impact on your life, too. They can help you appreciate simple pleasures, boost your sense of gratitude, and improve your mental health.
For example, a few years ago, my partner (Dec) and I went camping for a few nights at Mount Buffalo in Victoria, Australia. It was March and the weather had already turned quite cold. We slept on old inflatable mattresses that slowly went flat overnight. Wild dogs howled through the night. There were plenty of great moments and fun adventures, but we spent a lot of time feeling uncomfortable.
When we got home, we cuddled on the couch with our dogs and really savoured our morning cups of coffee. We had hot showers and ate warm meals and looked forward to a good night’s sleep. (But, actually, we didn’t sleep through the night because we picked up Minnie, our second dog, on our way home from the camping trip! Being a tiny, little puppy, she woke us up a few times during the night and I’d end up on the couch with her at 5 in the morning. But hey, when we were in bed, we had a lovely soft mattress and warm blankets, unlike when we were camping and we’d have to get up in the middle of the night to put on more layers of clothing for warmth!)
There was a research study published in 2016 that found that young people who spent just over a week roughing it in the wilderness experienced multiple benefits, including less stress, increased mindfulness, and a higher sense of happiness and life satisfaction.
The interesting thing is, we often love being comfortable. I’m not sure about you, but I could spend all day sitting on the couch, drinking tea, eating homemade cookies, and reading books. It’s like my ideal day!
But what would happen if I lived every day like that? If every day for a whole week, I’d mostly just get out of bed, go to the couch, read a few chapters, drink some tea, eat a cookie, read some more, and go back to bed?
I’d get bored. I’d feel purposeless. I’d be too comfortable. It would be too much of a good thing.
When all of our needs are constantly being met and we don’t face any type of adversity, we can lose our appreciation for what we have. And I’ve seen this play out in my own life time and time again.
Dec and I have been together for over seven years now, and most of that time we’ve been living together. But last year he had to travel for work and sometimes I wouldn’t see him for a week. When he came home, I’d feel a new sense of appreciation for spending quality time together and having someone to talk to around the house.
Here’s another example. One of my favourite meals is loaded nachos. I’ll make a delicious tomato salsa, chop up some lettuce, fry some beans in heaps of spices and make guacamole. Then, I’ll heat up some corn chips so they’re all hot and crunchy. Then, I put it all together. About a month ago, I ate this exact meal every night for almost a week. The first night, it was absolutely amazing. The second night, it was great. The third night, I was getting a bit bored. And by the end of the week, I couldn’t wait to make something different.
Another thing that can happen when we become too comfortable is that we might start creating drama just for the heck of it. We pick fights with our loved ones, mentally beat ourselves up for not being good enough, and become fixated on tiny problems that don’t really matter.
However, a survey of almost 15000 people found that those who experience hardships and adversity are more likely to enjoy and appreciate small pleasures.
Now, there’s an elephant in the room I do need to address. There are many people in the world who face adversities and problems with no escape. When I went camping for a couple of nights and felt cold and restless, I got to return home to a safe, warm bed. Some people don’t have that choice. And it’s not ok to say, “Well, your adversity will help you savour the good times when they do come.”
In fact, in that survey of 15000 people, another key finding was that people who enjoyed and appreciated small pleasures already had their trials behind them. If they were still experiencing adversity, the capacity to appreciate the little things was much smaller.
Now that we’ve covered how discomfort can be beneficial, let’s take a look at a strategy to help you explore discomfort safely in your own life. Basically, this strategy is about doing things that make you feel a bit uncomfortable sometimes and taking the time to process any challenging emotions that might come up along the way.
Step 1
First of all, it can be important to try new things.
Go camping and experience the weather and uncomfortable mattresses that go flat and noises that wake you up in the night.
Get up early in the morning and do a workout rather than sleeping in.
Give up something you really like for a week, like coffee or watching tv.
Don’t put yourself in danger or force yourself to do things you absolutely hate, but see if you can be a bit uncomfortable for a while. Even if it’s tough at the time, imagine how much you’ll appreciate comfort when you’re lucky enough to get it back.
Step 2
When you start letting discomfort into your life, it can create challenges and opportunities for vulnerable emotions to come up. That’s why it can be important to take things at your own pace, connect with good support systems and process your feelings, rather than bottling them up.
Some feelings that might arise include grief, anger, resentment, jealousy, frustration. When any of those feelings arise, don’t just ignore them. Talk about them with someone you trust. Write about them. Work with a therapist. Look after yourself and engage in self-care.
Step 3
Remember that discomfort can also encourage gratitude and happiness and life satisfaction. As good as it might sound, we weren’t made to cruise through life without challenges or hardships. Sometimes, we need to experience the tough stuff so we can truly enjoy and appreciate the good things in our lives.
I know it can be difficult to go outside your comfort zone and support yourself through those experiences sometimes. Exploring outside of my own comfort zone has been super important, but also really challenging, which is why I dedicated the first chapter to it in my book, The Mindful Kind.
The chapter is called “Exploring Outside Your Comfort Zone” and within it, I dive deeper into my personal stories about discomfort and share powerful strategies to help you deal with discomfort, too. If you don’t know how to start incorporating a bit of discomfort in your life, this chapter of The Mindful Kind book will help you feel more confident and give you some fun and specific ways to get started.
Thank you so much for listening and I hope you have a wonderful week, Mindful Kind.
Subscribe & Review in iTunes
Are you subscribed to The Mindful Kind podcast? If yes - thank you so much. You won't be missing out on any awesome upcoming content!
If not, don't worry, it isn't too late. Just click here and press that subscribe button!
P.S Do you enjoy The Mindful Kind podcast? I'd be so grateful if you could leave a review. Not only do your reviews help people find my podcast, but I really love reading about your experiences and thoughts. Click here to leave a review, select 'Ratings and Reviews' then 'Write a Review' and let me know how The Mindful Kind has helped you. Sending so much gratitude your way!
